Posted by: Diane | June 19, 2012

Forever Changed

Today started like every other day – things to do, places to go, people to see.

When I arrived at my friend’s house mid-morning, she had a terribly forlorn look on her face…like every morsel of energy had been sucked out of her body.

Something was horribly wrong.

My friend began to tell me a very sad story. She had just learned that on Father’s Day, her twenty-four year old nephew had gone downstairs into his bedroom, laid on his bed and put a gun to his head. He killed himself, just before the family dinner.

His parents are devastated. His father hasn’t come out of his son’s room since Sunday. His mother isn’t making any sense. His sisters are trying to pick up the pieces of their broken family.

My friend was overwhelmed with disbelief. She talked and I listened. We spent the morning together and then I left. I felt a heavy sadness for the rest of the day.

In this tragedy, there’s no protocol for emotion.

A trinity of questions violates the sanctuary of this family’s home: How? If only? Why?

There’s no language to express their heart pain. Adaptive capacities are assaulted. Ability to cope is so critically injured. The whole world has forever changed.

Sudden violent death causes a severing.

There is no relief in sight for this young man’s family.

It’s about learning to live in the presence of absence.  

…and so I pray, “Lord, when the fierce storms come, help us to run and hide in You, our Refuge and our Strength. Yours are the shoulders upon which we must learn to cry when we are overcome with grief and pain because You alone are Hope. When there are no answers, there is You.

The eternal God is a dwelling place, and underneath are the everlasting arms.           Deuteronomy 33:27 


  1. Oh Diane, so very sad indeed. Your friends family will remain close in prayer. May the know the consolation that God alone provides.

    • You’re so right, Debbie…there is a peace that only God can give. Thank you for your prayers.

  2. Such a tragedy Diane. I hardly know what to say, but God knows their pain and I will pray for His comfort and strength for this family… sad. ‘Mrs. B.’

    • Hey, Mrs. B., there really aren’t any words, are there? Thank you so much for prayers. Love Diane

  3. Hi Diane,
    At times like these, words don’t even come into play. Just being there with your friend, crying with her, sharing in her pain, brings the only solace you can give.
    My granddaughter quoted on FB something Corrie Ten Boon had said so many years ago.
    ” You never know that Christ is all you need, until Christ is all you have.”
    Praying that this dear broken family will somehow, feel the presence and comfort of a loving Father who knows just how they feel. He’s been there!
    Will keep them in my prayers.
    Love Barb

    • Thank you, Barb…I’ll be spending today and tomorrow with my friend. I appreciate your prayers. Love Diane

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