Posted by: Diane | May 30, 2012

Just Smilin’ Inside

I had a couple of wonderful and unexpected phone calls this morning. Two special friends asked me how I was doing and as I shared about what’s been going on these days, I became overwhelmed with thankfulness.

The thing is this – I’m not thankful because everything is going my way and I’m just “cruisin” through an easy life –  it’s not and I’m not – there is a steady dose of struggle and disappointment, mixed in with some lighter moments as well as some truly remarkable ones. ( Phoenie’s Saturday socks sure did warm the cockles of my heart…now, THERE’S an old expression!)

I’m thankful because everything is so much better than I could ever have orchestrated with my own hands. I’m confident that I’m in the right place, doing the right thing and I know without a doubt, that God’s hands are all over my circumstances.

No question  – in the past, I had a tendency to take control and make things happen.  I grew up in a dysfunctional home and in many ways, I reared myself.  I came to believe the foolish notion that if I pushed hard enough, life would keep moving onward, upward and outward.

I know better now. I know Jesus.

Don’t get me wrong – it hasn’t been a smooth journey. I have learned truth the hard way – plenty of bumps and bruises and a couple of big welts. Sometimes, it’s been a gentle push and sometimes, it’s been the 2 X 4 treatment.

What I have come to understand is that when I cease striving, it’s not giving in and it’s not giving up – it’s giving over.

What I have come to know is that when I humble myself under God’s mighty hand, HE will exult me, in due time.(1 Peter 5.6 NIV) His ways are not my ways.

What I have come to believe is that it’s good to wait on God. It’s hard and it’s certainly not natural… but it’s good.

I don’t want it any other way.

Yours, O LORD, is the kingdom; You are exalted as head over all.  Wealth and honor come from You; You are the ruler of all things.  In Your hands are strength and power to exalt and give strength to all.     1 Chronicles 29.11,12 NIV


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