Posted by: Diane | April 12, 2012

Milk In Bags, Eh?

Apparently, bagged milk is a Canadian thing. Do you know that there are actually websites about this? You can also watch some tantalizing Youtube videos on the subject. If I’ve got your curiosity going and you’re dying to learn more, take a look at this video – you’ll learn everything you need to know (and unfortunately, more than you need to know) about milk in a bag.

Now, hold onto your hats – it gets better.

This morning, my husband pulled the milk container out of the refrigerator, took a quick look at the way the corner had been snipped off and asked me, “Who cut the bag this way?  Did you gnaw it off or something, Diane? I started to laugh because in truth, I had indeed violated the first rule of milk bag etiquette – the kitchen scissors were hiding in my crochet bag in the other room and I was too lazy to walk the five steps so call me crazy, but I decided to go at the milk bag with the first thing I could find –  a jagged steak knife.

No self-respecting Canadian would ever take this sitting down –  I fully understand why Chris made such a gruff comment to me.

While I’m on the subject of milk bag mayhem, let me mention some other aggravating practices that are tough for us Canadians to handle first thing in the morning. How about when someone has left the full milk bag in the container but it hasn’t been opened? Doesn’t it just drive you nuts when the bag has been cut on the wrong corner?  Or worst of all, when some thoughtful individual has left an empty bag in the container? It would drive anyone over the edge.

OK. I got that out of my system.

So, let’s get to my point. In contrast to the instructions in the video, I’m not convinced that there is only one way to properly cut the corner of the milk bag. In fact, I would venture to suggest that the way the milk bag gets cut says a lot about the individual’s personality. (jagged steak knife aside) The size of the hole, the speed of the cut – these are personality indicators for sure.

Not only can milk bag cutting expose much about who we are but milk bag cutting can offer the therapeutic applications necessary to deal with particular issues. For example, impatient people who desperately must learn to slow down a bit, need to purposely cut a small hole so that the milk comes out really slowly and they have to practise the discipline of waiting. People with control issues need to cut too big of a triangle off the bag and deal with the resultant mess without falling apart.

…and people who grab steak knives and tear their way through bags?  Well, I’m afraid there’s no hope for the lost.

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