Posted by: Diane | September 30, 2011

Big Bugaboo

I was sitting on the couch at my friend’s cottage and I heard a scratching noise outside. I looked over and saw this big, black blob of something hanging on the screen.  It was dark outside so I though that a bat had come to visit. The Science teacher in me decided to explore so I slowly walked towards the screen. To my horror, I realized this creature was a BIG, BLACK and VERY UGLY BUG!  No exaggeration – this thing was almost four inches long!  I’ve never seen anything like it – like a cockroach on steroids.

At this point, I was very thankful that this monster bug was on the outside of the screen, not the inside!  I had to take a picture to show Phoenie, my grandson and Isaiah, my little buddy, so despite the fact that I was wearing my pajamas, I grabbed my phone, slipped into my Crocs and ran out the other door.  I skillfully crept up the deck stairs and took this shot.

It’s not a great picture but seconds later, the bug lost its footing on the glass window and fell to the ground.

I screamed.  I dropped my camera and ran off the deck. I had visions of this ferocious bug attacking me with its sharp teeth and dragging me under the cottage to a dark hole, filled with thousands of other BIG, BLACK and VERY UGLY BUGS.  I was alone. No one would know what happened to me. What kind of legacy is THAT?

I chose to face my fears and rescue my phone. Armed with a weapon (a stick) and nerves of steel, I climbed those treacherous deck stairs for a second time and cautiously moved towards the enemy. At this point, the bug was lying on its back,wiggling its legs and making strange noises that sounded like, “Help me,..please help me.” 

What could I do?  I had to show mercy. But first the phone…I must get my phone.

With sweat pouring off my brow, I leaned forward and pulled the phone towards me with my trusty weapon. Such outstanding bravery. Mission accomplished.

I poked the bug with the stick and with noteworthy dexterity, managed to flip it right side up. It stared at me, as if to thank me for saving his life. Then it scampered under the cottage…back to its peeps.

I let out a huge sigh of relief. My work was done.

I went back to my couch and celebrated by eating a half bag of Dill Pickle potato chips.

That’s what heros eat.


  1. Ok Diane, I’m howling on the inside because I would wake JD up if I did what I feel like doing. That is absolutely scary, crazy and hilarious all at the same time. Now if only someone had captured it all on video, you could be the winner of 10,000 dollars on AFHV!
    I’m glad you survived and have yet another story to tell!
    Hope you can sleep without wild dreams! I ‘ll probably have the dreams now!Good Night and don’t let the bugs bite ! Haha

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